The boss loved Barbara's work and didn’t want to lose her, but could no longer tolerate the “noise” surrounding her. People were complaining about Barbara's aloofness, grandstanding, and failure as a team player. So, the boss asked Barbara if she would be willing to see an executive coach and she agreed to do so, albeit with some reluctance.

During my first meeting as Barbara's coach, I asked the usual questions about where she grew up, how many siblings she had, education, etc. Barbara was candid in talking about being raised the youngest of several children in a strict German family from the Midwest. I asked what the “rules for membership” were in her family, explaining that every family has implicit or explicit rules for what’s expected of children, and she rolled her eyes. Dad was a strict disciplinarian, Mom instilled in them the fear of God, and everyone was expected to work hard. There was little time for frivolity in this Teutonic household.