Nyeri County website and Hotels

THE GRAND TRIAL OF WARUGURU WA KIAI-OTP,NYC 254.

Jan 07, 2014 Thoughts And Dreams Of Waruguru Wa Kiai's Village. 7

 

“Woi ngai, I am finished” I tell myself as the Officer Commanding Station (O.C.S) Black Land Rover makes its entrance into the Chief’s compound, furiously racing directly towards me, I shut my eyes and hug the tree passionately in a desperate attempt to save my life from the almost guaranteed impending coalition with the heap of scrap metal masquerading itself as an auto mobile-it’s the truth and the carpenter’s son said it would set us free, tell the O.C.S I said so. Trails of thought rush through my mind as the croaking engine coughs intimidatingly towards me, one thought reminds me that I am too young to join ‘Muthuaini’ university (commonly referred to as Dust to Dust University), where people go and never come back, where people are still waiting for the Chancellor to send Peter with the Graduation list, well it is not that I would hate to be in the Heavenly Graduation list, it is just that I have not accomplished several important matters.

 

First I have not hoodwinked Kamau to attend a very important  ‘Saturday’ church service at Nyamachaki Church, where He will be waiting for me, only for yours truly to appear dressed in a Thousand China made mosquito nets, accompanied by my Clan-the Clan of the Hyenas renowned for their prowess in fighting with books, bottles and the White man. Before kamau closes and opens his eyes, we will be dancing to ‘welokamu na wakinya kwa kamau siti down,welooo…’, cutting cake and Naming our Second Born Child in that order.. Now, in the very unlikely event that my first plans fails, I intend to swiftly invoke my ‘plan B’ which involves the drafting of a very strongly worded letter to the Son whose father is still sited outside A building Named after Him. I intend on reminding this particular fellow who is now the tenant of the house formerly owned by Neighbor from Othaya, that despite his attempt to keep under water the members of his house constituency, I am aware of his home front cabinet lineup .That his lineup consists of two male members named Jomo and Jaba, who to the best of my knowledge are now of consenting age. That I would not mind being an active contributing member in his family in the capacity of Daughter- in -law, and that it is at his disposal to publicly appoint one of his house members to take on the noble task of making an Honorable woman out of me. Lastly, that I am fully prepared to expand the family population for two generations to come.

My trail of thought is rudely halted by sudden heat that seeps through my feet. I open my eyes to find the scrap metal-yes I said it again!, grind to a clumsy halt, its rear worn out tyre, so close to my tied feet such that if it were to make any movement, my legs would be crushed. I let out a sigh of relief that also wades off rioting dust –the Academic Registrar ‘Muthuaini University’ will have to wait for my arrival. I watch eagerly as the driver jumps out of the car and opens the door to pave way for the figure seated at the assassination corner. By now, there is a gathered crowd that surrounds the ‘four legged scrap’ stepping on my legs in the process. I am seething with anger and my finger are itching to plant themselves in human flesh, but I do not reach out to grab the annoying figures hovering over me, instead I strongly plant my fingers in the soil and bite my lips, it is my anger after all that has landed me here today, I will not make the same mistake twice, okay it’s my twelfth time! At least not today. A minute later, the figure steps out of the scrap, the hovering figures cannot allow me to see his face, but I catch a glimpse of his shiny shoes, I strain my neck to give the shoes a face, but the rope that bind my hands to the tree remind me of its potential to cut off my blood supply.

 

The suffocating, dust raising figures soon depart with the figure from the vehicle; my fate will be sealed any time from now. The existing conditions do little to give me hope- see I am seated, tied on to a eucalyptus tree meant to give me shade from the scorching sun that appears to be an amicus of my persecutors, its rays constantly hit my face, leaving momentarily to burn the soil around me, the eucalyptus tree  was never known to offer shade. Even thought the four legged scrap metals prevents me from seeing my persecutors, I can clearly follow their conversation which seems to be heated in apparent agreement. I can mark out the chief’s voice as he pours his outrage against me.

 

“Enough is enough, I have had it with her” He starts,

“I have prayed for her to no avail, she just will not stop” My pastor continues,

“And she is a disgrace to our clan, she must be possessed” My village elder reiterates,

“There is no doubt in this matter, this waruguru woman is guilty and she deserves heavy punishment” the Chief concludes.

“I have heard you my people, your clear complains have reached our ears and we have come up with a decision, call the Accused Persons now” the O.C.S blares out.

 

Two ‘Heavily Armed’ officers come for me, one of them restraining an eager German Shepherd dog, while the other sets me free. I am led to the congregated chief’s Baraza and made to sit down at the middle of the Baraza.

The Assistant Chief stands and momentarily looks around deliberately building up suspense, then he his roving eyes land on me, giving me a stern look meant on eliciting fear and intimidation, as is he could!. He then calls forth his Secretary who hands him an envelope, which he grabs and dramatically pulls out papers and starts;

“The Accused Person herein Waruguru Wa Kiai, unfortunately or fortunately (there is a resounding murmur agreeing on the unfortunately part) being a resident of this village, and of sound mind(there is a murmur in dissent),is charged as follows; That on the evening of Saturday 26th July 2013 in  To-Go-Is-To- See Bar and Restaurant, she accosted the complainant herein kamau who was ‘eating his property’ in the company of Njeri who happens to be the Daughter of the Officer Commanding Station in this area, that the accused went on a rampage breaking bottles on kamau’s head while swinging on his ear with her teeth. That she did not stop there, going ahead to pluck off Njeri weave and scratch her previously spotless face. As if that is was not enough, she threw hot soup on kamau’s face and then forced him to kneel while facing Mt.Kenya and told kamau to repeat the following statement three times, ‘Waruguru I am sorry, forgive me and spare my life, I will marry you’. In addition, and without any respect She proceeded to call Njeri’s father and told him that she had beaten his precious daughter and that if He was a real man, He should meet her at the same place. That when Njeri’s father arrived and attempted to arrest  Her, the Accused used Her heels and hit the distinguished officer in His private regions and grabbed His official arresting hand cuffs and cuffed Him to the pool table. That the accused then sat down and proceeded to force an injured kamau to buy her chips and chicken which she later drowned with frothy drinks made in Naivasha. That it took the intervention of the chief who arrived at the scene accompanied by officers from the Dog section to arrest the Accused, who before being overpowered and arrested, thoroughly roughed up the chief and the Bar Manager. That the accused is a repeat offender! Having listened to the matter, and in consultation with the chief, village elders, the police, and the County Government it is ruled as follow…

 

“Before you read the judgment, ask her if She is guilty or not like they did it in the Hague” the chief recommends

“Okay, waruguru wa kiai, having listened to the charges against you, how do you plead? Guilty or not Guilty?”

 

There is deathly silence as they wait for My answer, of course I am innocent, but they will not believe me when I tell them that on the day in question, I had left My mother’s house, dressed to kill in my new jeans bought at Garissa lodge opposite kibe wandindi video shop near Gakere Road. That I had blow dried my hair, shaved my eye brows and drawn a black lines thereafter. That while I was in the Matatu I had seen kamau the father of my six future children, walking holding hands with another woman who was not me. That I had alighted and followed them, ducking to the nearest bush whenever I had thought that they had seen me. That kamau’s last tooth would be seen as He smiled at her. That my body’s salt and oil had both simmered and boiled. That I had followed them at the bar and seen them eat chicken and drink Naivasha products without a care in the world. That I lost it when Njeri leaned forward to exchange saliva with Kamau, despite knowing very well that I was the only one Certified to exchange saliva with kamau. That I had to do, what I had to do to!

“How do you plead woman”

I stare at kamau, decorated with bandages, then at the chief, and just as I am about to respond, A Motor Bike races into the compound. She jumps off the motor bike. She runs to kamau. Njeri hugs Kamau, Njeri touches Kamau’s face, Njeri excitedly wriggles her behind to sit on Kamau’s lap…

There is a woman screaming in my head! In my head I can clearly see a woman swinging on Njeri’s neck. That woman swinging on the neck is me…

Tell kimaiyo it’s a code red…

1,826 total views, 1 views today